“Volunteering” To Get Out of Your Own Way.

If you’re one of those empty nesters who’s sitting at home looking at the four walls of your living room and going stir crazy, or even a single person staring at your four walls going crazy worrying you’re going to become the Crazy Cat Lady, I have some tough love for you:  Get out of your own way.

Yes, the kids are gone and your days of soccer practice, dance recitals and trick-or-treating are over.  Or, yes, you’re single and all your friends are getting married and having babies and you suddenly have nothing in common with them.  That doesn’t mean life is without meaning.

A couple of weeks back I was talking to an old friend who’s youngest child was leaving the nest.  This is a woman who’s been a stay-at-home mom to three children for almost twenty-four years.  The only thing she’s ever wanted to do was raise her kids.  In the space of a few months, her youngest went off to college, her middle got a job five hours away from her, and her oldest got married.

Talk about an empty nest!   Although she was very proud of all her children, she was lost.

I have another friend in her mid-thirties. She’s single, not dating anyone, and finds herself coming home from work, dropping onto the couch and staying there until Jay Leno says goodbye every night.

With all the love in my heart, because these are two of the most fabulous women I know, I told them they need to get out of their own way.  All they see is what they don’t have: children at home.

What they aren’t seeing is what they do have, and what you don’t have when you’re raising children: Time.

Yes, TIME.  The one commodity every mom, stay at home or working, doesn’t have enough of: Time.

Time you can choose to waste, or time you can choose to do something with.  My suggestion is going to be do something with it: Volunteer.

Yes, my lovelies, volunteer.  If you’re feeling like your life has no meaning I can promise you that one Saturday morning pulling weeds at a community garden, collecting can goods for a local charity, or helping another mom pick out coats for her kids at a local coat drive will change your attitude.  It’s in those sweet moments that you’ll feel alive and like you’re contributing again.  It’s talking to that first time mom about whether to choose the coat that fits now, or to choose the one that’s a bit big, but will last until spring.  That’s when all those years of choosing coats for your own kids pays off in the knowledge you pass on to another mom, and the hug you get for your help.

These years aren’t the end of time, they’re just the beginning of the next chapter.  But, the beautiful thing is you get to take all you’ve learned with you and pay it forward.

So, get off your duff, get out of the house, and be the change you’ve been b!tching about.  It’ll put a smile in your heart.