Power Dating is not for the faint of heart!

Power Dating is not for the faint of heart, the weak of texting skills, or the disorganized. Especially not in today’s world.

Since implementing Man Plan ‘09 at the end of December 2008, I’ve been out with, had coffee with, IM’d with, emailed with, texted and/or had drinks or dinner with, almost twenty men. I know this because I have a spreadsheet. (Oh come on, you know you’re not surprised *I* have a spreadsheet.)

I wish I could say they were all gentlemen, but as with any project where quantity is risked over quality, you’re going to have a few duds. Not Dude’s — Duds. However, I can say the Duds have been few and far between and by the end of this little experiment I’m hopeful they will be a statistical anomaly.

In the meantime, here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. To say “No Thank You” as nicely as I can. And, once I’ve said it a few times, nicely, to just ignore the shouting, or in this case, the texting and the emailing.

2. To keep that spreadsheet I mentioned above. No, seriously. If you go out with twenty men that’s twenty first names and screen names you need to keep track of. Plus, you need a way to jog your memory about exactly who this person is, so keep some notes. Here’s an example (all info made up, not real people because that would be rude.): Screen name: BikerGuyintheK-Y Real Name: Bob To remember: met him for tea Sat morning at Heine Bros, went to PF Changs for dinner last night, into classic motorcycles. A lot.
Now, you can get as detailed as you want, but a few notes are helpful. I went out with 2 Mike’s, a Jim, a Jimmy, a Robert and a Bob. Trust me, notes were very helpful.

3. Don’t email or text too much before you meet. That’s a good way to exhaust your first date topics before you even have a first date. I like to email a few times over the course of four or five days before I meet with a person. This is because I like to ask questions and see what kind of response I get. If the only thing he comes back with is “When are we going to meet” and doesn’t answer my questions, then I know he’s looking for a booty call and I can move him to the bottom of the spreadsheet with the other frogs. If, on the other hand, he answers my questions and asks me some, then I’ve got a person who is actually looking to get to know me, and that’s worth my time.

4. Keep the first meeting short and make another appointment of some kind for something else for a couple of hours later so you give yourself an honest reason to leave. I’m talking about a nail appointment, hair appointment, have to pick your mother up and take her to the grocery store, something! Here’s why: I don’t know about you, but when I first started this dating thing I hadn’t dated for quite some time. I needed to give myself some dating “training wheels”, so to speak. By keeping the first meeting short, you can leave if there’s no chemistry, or if you’ve just run out of things to say right then. Hey, it can happen, even to me! By giving yourself a reason to leave, you can not only gracefully and genuinely say goodbye, but also, you don’t overstay your welcome. I found myself so happy to be speaking with a person of the male persuasion that I babbled on like a Chatty Cathy for hours. No, really, HOURS. So, now I give myself a reason to leave. And, incidentally, the only guys who ever say anything about it are the guys who make me ever so glad I made the appointment!

5. To put identifiers in my cellphone. At one point I had three “Steve Cell” numbers in my phone. First of all, I didn’t realize my phone would put in duplicates. I’d call that a “bug”, but Verizon evidently sees it as a “feature”. The bad thing is, one Steve was a new guy, one was a colleague at a client, and one was a guy I used to date a couple of years ago! Not good. Trust me, even if you can’t get a last name, you can put in something to tell you which Steve is which. In my case, I now put “POF” after their name if it’s a guy I met on Plenty Of Fish, and “EH” if it’s a guy I met on eHarmony.

See, I wasn’t kidding, organization is a must. I haven’t even gotten to the part of how to fit them in the schedule around work, gym, blogging (which I’ve been very bad at lately), traveling, etc., etc.

Dating over forty — Not For The Faint Of Heart!